No More Mobile Memorials

Sing with me, people: “Oh, bury me not on your rear windshield!”

For some time, I’ve noticed the disturbing trend of memorializing dead loved ones with window decals. Nothing says class like an adhesive vinyl homage:

“In loving memory of ‘Li’l Bee’ Nowahaint: 1993-2004.”

Today, I saw one of those Styxian stickers, but now with full-color photographs. Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned granite or marble? That must be too old-school for folks these days.

Friends, when it’s my time to go, don’t sticker me across your back windshield. Don’t turn me into an airbrushed license plate. Honor my memory in a classier, more permanent way.

Embroider me across the back of your booty shorts like a Hollister logo.

.end.

Published in: on 2013/07/15 at 2:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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